The Association Blog

So one of your recent adoptions wasn’t quite a match made in Hollywood? The Division Manager at Grand Prairie Animal Services suggests a new way to communicate around returns with the adopter,  as well as reframing the way WE think of returns

Picture this: a pair locks eyes across a crowded room, the music swells, and time stops. Fate has brought them together. Love at first sight is great in the movies, but it doesn’t always reflect reality for adoptions. If anything, the adoption process can often bear more of a resemblance to speed dating. Although I am sure there are folks out there who met their forever partner this way, generally it is hard to make a life-long commitment with such a limited window of information. That’s why guilt-free returns are a cornerstone of a compassionate adoption program. Returns can feel discouraging, but they are valuable opportunities to gather insight and create a better future experience for both adopters and animals.

Our team members work hard to guide adopters toward a good fit, yet sometimes those beautiful blue eyes, soft coat, and exuberant personality (I’m thinking of you, Mr. Husky!) can lure your novice adopter into a mental montage of their perfect future together. And although an adopter’s capacity to fall so madly in love with one of our pets can be the best thing ever, the excitement can also result in a frame of mind where any information challenging the idea of their “happily ever after” with this pet is subconsciously discounted (i.e. the downside to confirmation bias). On the extreme end, a hard denial can lead an adopter to feel patronized or walk away with the idea that they were not “good enough” in the eyes of the organization.

Does this mean that we should avoid conversations that utilize our expertise and experience with that pet to guide adopters? Absolutely not. What it does mean is listening and having the emotional intelligence to identify the point, barring any true safety issues, where we go from attempting a re-direct to supporting their decision. At this point, we have the critical opportunity to set the pet up for success with transition recommendations and connecting the adopter with local resources. More importantly, this ensures that the adopter does not feel judged by the organization and will be more likely to reach out if they need any help. Some organizations even frame this as a “life-time guarantee” to ensure the pet will always have a reliable safety net.

Providing the space and opportunity for an adopter to learn on their own respects the adult learning experience, which naturally places a strong reliance on experiencing things personally. As that honeymoon period fades and the animal acclimates to the home environment, the adopter can determine for themselves if it is a good fit. If the answer seems to be no, whether due to the reasons we prophesized or something entirely unexpected, having a support system handy can smooth those transition issues or, when needed, pave the way for a rebound adoption. It is the opportunity to change a return experience from a shameful interaction with averted eyes and transparently disappointed staff to a time to thank the adopter for giving the pet a chance and ask that they consider, after some decompression time if needed, opening their heart to another.

This approach means not only changing the way we communicate around returns with the adopter, but also reframing the way WE think of returns. It’s tempting to view multiple returns as a reflection of an animal’s adoptability, but diving into the context behind each return is key. If a pet has been returned multiple times, we need to ask ourselves critical questions: Is the reason for return consistent? Was the animal given proper transition time? Did we learn something new from this experience that we didn’t know before? These insights can add value to future placements and help us provide better counseling for future adopters. Taking away the taboo of returns can also reduce the anxiety experienced by adoption counselors concerned about the ramifications of adoption “failure” for the pet.

Finally, we should also acknowledge that sometimes, a match that seems unlikely may succeed beyond our expectations. From my personal experience from working in this field, my mind immediately jumps to the stereotypical husky when thinking of return situations. But ultimately, I have no crystal ball, all dogs are individuals, and maybe Mr. Husky IS surprisingly perfect for that first-time pet owner. Our limited view of an animal’s behavior in the shelter doesn’t tell the full story, and animals (and adopters!) can surprise us. By taking that leap of faith, we’re not only supporting adopters but also giving animals the chance to thrive in an environment more conducive to their success. On the flip side, I fostered a dog with at least three previous homes by the time she was 5 years old, including at least one “perfect match” that I found for her. Throughout these experiences, she remained one of the happiest, most laid-back kiddos I’ve ever fostered—and eventually I realized she was meant for me all along. Sometimes the journey isn’t straightforward but is absolutely worth every step.

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