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Let’s Dump the Judgment
December 4, 2024, Dr. Emily Weiss
Are the people who walk through your doors to relinquish so different from you? Dr. Emily Weiss suggests we dump that premise
Earlier this year I wrote a blog about the challenges of Us Vs. Them. I suggested that we eliminate the premise that those who walk in your doors are somehow so different from “us” that we could never be “them.” That we welcome all who come to us with empathy, respect and openness.
Since then, I have seen several stories in the popular media vilifying pet owners who relinquished their animals, including a story in Newsweek about a dog named Rooney who was “dumped” by his owners. The story crushed me – not because the dog had been surrendered to a shelter, but because the rescue vilified the people who cared enough to bring him there. The article quoted the rescue’s social media posts. “I am so sick and tired of people ‘getting rid of their dogs’ because you had a baby, a change in your life, blah blah blah blah blah,” read a furious post on the rescue’s page. “Welcome to **** Rescue, Rooney, you are a senior now, but we will find you a home that won’t throw you away again because they had a blip in their life.”
Rooney is a seven-year-old dogue de Bordeaux, and the information that the receiving shelter shared was that the family recently had a new baby and did not have the time for him. What the shelter did not share was that the actual situation that drove the relinquishment was likely much more nuanced, and the family likely went through a difficult process to make the decision to surrender.
Let’s get rid of the word dumped. People who come to your shelter to relinquish are not dumping their pet. They are bringing him to the place that was developed to help. They did research to determine a place they could trust – a humane organization – because something has happened that requires them to bring their pet somewhere safe. And so, they have done just that. They cared to do the right thing.
I am one of them. I had to rehome a pet. It was many years ago, and it was heartbreaking. I am fortunate I had the resources to be able to find a home for him, where he had a great and full life. I cannot imagine what I would have done if I did not have the resources and I came to a shelter for help and was unable to surrender him, or was met with judgment as in the scenario above.
Shelter staff judging people who are unable to keep their pets is nothing new. I understand how hard it can be to be in the intake department of a shelter and see animal after animal come in with folks who appear disconnected and uncaring. When I had to rehome, I swallowed my heart, put on a brave face, and did what needed to be done. Back in 1998, a powerful peer-reviewed study conducted by Natalie DiGiacomo, Arnold Arluke and Gary Patronek found that relinquishers cared deeply for their pets and struggled for weeks with the decision to relinquish. Future studies, including a few that my team and I conducted while at the ASPCA, found similar results. One of the most powerful was a study we conducted at a Los Angeles municipal shelter, where we discovered that not only did relinquishers have a strong emotional attachment to the pet they were relinquishing, but they had a higher level of perceived stress in the home compared to a control group. Meaning they likely were dealing with issues within the home that were complicating their ability to keep the pet.
There are relinquishers who do not have options. They may be unable to afford housing that allows pets (an issue that we must continue to tackle), they may be sick, they may have inter-pet issues that are not manageable, or any other number of reasons. Please let’s recognize that bad things happen to good people who love their pets – and not everyone is privileged enough to have the resources to find solutions. When someone cares enough to bring their pet to the shelter, let’s be kind, let’s help them, let’s help them find solutions… and then, if needed, let’s shelter their pet with compassion and bring them into our community instead of pushing them out of it. Let’s dump the judgment.
More from Dr. Weiss
Shelterer or Rehomer?
Let’s Get Rid of “Them”
Is it time for a new goal?
“It’s Just Not Supposed to Happen This Way”
About Dr. Emily Weiss
As an Applied Animal Behaviorist, Dr. Weiss has worked with species as varied as lions, orangutans, elephants and Komodo dragons, as well dogs, cats and horses. She is a nationally recognized speaker, and has published extensively on topics related to applied animal behavior and human-animal interactions. She served as the ASPCA's VP. of Research & Development, overseeing groundbreaking research related to the animal sheltering field and developing assessment tools for shelter animals. Before that she created training programs to improve husbandry and decrease stress for zoo animals.
More recently Dr. Weiss led ASPCA's Equine Welfare efforts, with a focus on increasing the rehoming of horses, the development of effective safety net programming and effective law enforcement response to cruelty and neglect.
In all of her work, two central questions have driven her approach: “Why?” and “How do you know?” These questions guide a consistent creative and scientific approach to the work of improving welfare.
Emily recently sunsetted her successful career at the ASPCA and will be tackling a few select projects where her knowledge, skills and talent can make a significant impact for animals.
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We are a rescue, not a shelter or humane society. We don’t outwardly pass judgment on owners who relinquish, as there are plenty of legitimate reasons to surrender. Truth be told, there are quite a few owners who should relinquish, rather than forcing to pet to live in the van with them in the dead of winter.
However, it is impossible not to harbor ill feelings towards owners who surrender because the dog “sh*t in the yard”. Really? How can one not think poorly of these kinds of people?
I hear you and I know it is hard. Do remember that just because the reason they state may be one seemingly small thing, such as defecating in the yard, there is likely way more behind the decision – some of which may be personal, uncomfortable or embarrassing to the individual. They still cared enough to take him to a safe place.
This is truly sad as we did this many years ago in changing the behavior and thoughts of staff. It really hurts my heart that it seems we are back to ground zero.
The word “dumped” is firmly established in my vocabulary. I reserve it for people who bag or box up their unwanted kittens and throw them in a dumpster, toss a dog out of the car window on the freeway, or tie them in the woods and walk away– perhaps after shooting all 4 of their legs. I volunteer in a country where there are no shelters, rescues, or resources for people who cannot keep their pets. So I try to be empathetic and helpful when I talk to them about their options. Basically, there are no good ones. But dumping is not the answer. It should be judged and prosecuted.
In the US I cringe at the about-to-be homeless people begging for someone to foster their beloved pets through social media. Or others struggling to raise funds for needed vet care. So many shelters around me are quick to accept relinquishment and only THEN cover the medical costs, or find the foster placement. Wouldn’t it be better for everyone if they arranged to cover the cost of vet care, or recruited long-term fosters to help keep the animals attached to their families?
No, judging people who can’t keep a pet is neither helpful, productive, nor compassionate. But neither is withholding resources to force a relinquishment.